What parts of yourself are you hiding?

On being a minority and authenticity.

At dinner last week, a friend shared that she’s been worried about her 5-year-old son’s apprehension about ‘standing out’ in class. Her son is one of the few black boys in his school and as we reminisced about our childhoods - growing up in sub-Saharan Africa, we realised how different it might be, being young and coming of age as a minority in the UK.

Our conversation got me thinking about why authenticity matters, and why it’s a recurring theme in my coaching sessions with multicultural women.

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In the corporate world, in communities, I have often been one of the few, if not the only black person.

For the most part, it’s rarely perturbed me, but if I’m being honest with myself, it has, in the past, made me cautious about sharing more of who I am.

We still live in a world where uninvited stereotypes about black people are prevalent. So, to avoid the mental labour of interrogating how I might be perceived/stereotyped, I have at times, preferred to hold back on sharing parts of myself.

As I think about it now, it feels devastating; for the same reason that my heart sank as my friend shared her worries about her son’s shrinking confidence.

The silver lining here is that I’m now hugely passionate about supporting others on their journey to embracing their differences and finding assurance in who they are.

If this is something that resonates with you, consider asking yourself these two questions that have helped me choose myself, and worry less about other people’s perceptions.

What parts of yourself might you be hiding?

What do you stand to lose by holding back?